I am going to be honest. Lately I have been a completely blank mind. It seems that every single time I go to sit down to write something every thought that I have ever had decides to hide away in the back corners of my brain and leave me staring at a white page for hours. This isn’t usually a problem for me. More often times than not I have a hard time picking what I want to write about because the thing’s that God teaches me on the daily are never ever ending.
It seems that suddenly a tornado of decisions and tasks have blown over into my court and I have honestly been flustered when it comes to trying to figure out which one to tackle first. Each task and decision are high priority and require special attention. And I am sure you can imagine for a 20 year old california girl who can barely decide what shoes she wants to wear in the morning these tasks can seem daunting and nearly impossible. And to be perfectly vulnerable with you guys I had spent many days feeling like a failure. I had struggled with feeling like I was letting people down, I was overwhelmed and often left mentally exhausted. I have spent many morning and nights with my face in my bible asking God to give me answers…. Okay begging for answers. And guess what… He has not given me any answers! But instead a gentle reminder.
I am living for an audience of one. My goal in life should not be to worry about making the right decision for the right people at the right time. My goal in life should be to live with the purpose of bringing glory to God in my words, thoughts and actions. Many people are going to want to “help” me make the right decisions, they are going to have their thoughts opinions and judgments. But I need to follow what I believe he has called me to do. Listen for his voice and obey it. Sometimes I am going to be right, but I will often be wrong… and that’s OKAY. I will make mistakes, I will learn from them. I am young and I don’t know a lot, but that means there is plenty of room to grow. He reminded me of how completely incapable I am without him and that without him my life means nothing. But in him is where I find my purpose. I don’t need to know what I am doing. I don’t need to know where I am going. I can’t and won’t please everyone. I am going to do thing that people think are stupid, crazy and just don’t make sense. I am going to make people happy and I am going to make people angry, And that’s OKAY. Why? Because I am not living for people, I am living for the creator of the universe. And when you’re living for that guy, why would you let the opinions of others control your life?
Maybe you’re in the same position. Whether you are;
In a relationship
This applies to all of us. Life can be hard and overwhelming. And when those tornado's of task and decisions of life come in, it is so important to know who you are living for. None of us can do this by ourselves. This 20 year old California girls will be the first to admit that I am weak and incapable of so many things. Sometimes we have to come to God with a blank mind, Morning and Night with our faces in his word. And in the midst of the tornado's I promise, you he is going to speak. Those prayers that you are eagerly awaiting answers for He is eagerly waiting to answer In his time and for your benefit.